Character description

 I feel like I am invisible to some people,

and yet somehow so seen,
on the other hand, some kind of prize
that can still be put on a shelf
and left there to gather dust.
A superficial image,
and at the same time an old book
that cannot be read.
Pretentious, yet far too open,
and genuine in a way
that reveals too much of itself.
Sometimes like a parrot,
constant repetition, patterns— too loud

can you stay around?

do you know how to follow?

Sighs.

I cannot say,

what am I?

In some depths of thought,
I am something.
Do I want to know
whether what I am means anything?

I would like to know more
about what I am in the eyes of God,
but even if I knew, and I've been told

It is good
when such knowledge keeps a person humble.

The image I have of myself, though,
is nothing but a mixture of colors,
brown and ugly,
sometimes colorful like a rainbow.

For a moment, I admire it's existence on the rainy days.

I let both exist
and fight for their place—
the muddy weather
and the rainbow rain
At least then I know how to stop
imagining and striving for too much every day,
when I know that I am a battlefield
between two states,
both of them subjected to the Spirit,
and my life nothing but a whispering wind.