my heart exploded, did anyone notice?

Today, 

I opened my mouth,

and my heart exploded

Did anyone notice?

How I tried to control my composure,

not let it show how It 

shook everything in me

when i said something,

that can let them know how 

for so long my heart has been broken

just ticking, like a time bomb

waiting to be unraveled, right on time,

by someone who would know

how to hold it and

isn't afraid of my emotions

and what they reveal,

what they show

i try my best to hold everything in, organizing it to be on the right place,

but it's getting too much, 

and i need to get rid of it

so it won't collapse

especially in the moments when the focus comes on me and there is no where to hide, not even behind the books i bring with me

i just don't want to be too much too soon

even telling a little, i can see them be shocked and it's just one tiny piece,

not a good tasting treat

yet it's part of my story

and it's a part that has done a lot

of damage to the dearest parts of my heart, so that's why,

it is so so difficult to open up

so i won't and i keep my mouth shut,

at least as much as i can

control my words not

going there what really hurts